If there’s one thing MTL Communications loves more than doing PR (or at least almost as much), it’s celebrity gossip. And one name that has been thrown around the office more often as of late is our favorite Bella Swan lip-biter, Kristen Stewart. She’s dug quite a hole for herself over the past few weeks. Rumors, then photos, and then finally an admission proved that she had, in fact, cheated on her (former?) boyfriend and Twilight dream boat Robert Pattinson. It’s going to be hard to climb out of this one, what with all the Twi-hards and Rob-lovers and those people who just kind-of-sort-of hate you trying to push you back down. However, there is a light at the end of this tunnel. But it’s going to take a couple of steps to reach it:

Step One: Hire a new publicist
We get it, it was smart to own up to your indiscretion rather than lie and get called out on it and embarrass yourself further. But to then beg Rob to take you back in a public statement and tell him how much you love him? That’s low, and also made it obvious that Rob was no longer speaking to you. Why else would you, notoriously private you, stoop to telling your barely-confirmed boyfriend how much you loved him in the most public of all public statements? May we suggest you switch your representation over to MTL communications once you’ve fired your current team? We even have lawyers who specialize in couple mediation right on call!

Step Two: Choose your battles wisely
Which brings us to our next step. Good for you for not stepping into the melee that is people all over the world speculating whether you only made out with your director or actually slept with him. That’s some dignity you get back. However, now it’s all over the papers how you’re fighting Rob for the control of a dog, and that’s just looking petty. You broke this guy’s heart and now you want to take away his best friend too? You already have the cat, so let it go. Once you’re civil again maybe he’ll give you visitation rights.

Step Three: Stay out of the public eye
That is, unless you have to (the Breaking Dawn: Part 2 press tour is just on the horizon). We know you’re notoriously private, and the fact that the worst decision of your life (after Catch that Kid) is being played out across all forms of media has to suck. But it is your fault after all. Either way, lay as low as is humanly possible. The recluse route is hardly ever a good idea, but when there are not only hoards of paparazzi out there, but also a million and one teenage girls who want to slaughter you for what you did to “their” imaginary boyfriend, it’s probably best to hide out for a while. Unless your vampire-loving fans want to take the “A” from The Scarlett Letter to a whole new, and much more violent and bloody, level.

Step Four: Spend some time alone
Now that you’ve broken up (?) with Rob, this is NOT the time to jump into a new relationship. Yes, we realize you have been in some form of a relationship for somewhere in the realm of the last six years, and being single has to be kind of lonely after that. Now is the time to spend some time getting reacquainted with yourself, and remembering what it’s like to be an individual rather than just one half of “Robsten” or whatever silly celebrity couple name you’ve been called lately. Jumping quickly into a new relationship (especially if it involves your booty-call director Rupert Sanders) will only add fuel to the fire that is burning whatever is left of your reputation.

Step Five: Take a step back and re-evaluate your life and choices
While you’re spending that quality Kristen-to-Kristen time please take a moment to look at your life, look at your choices, and really think about what went wrong here. You were a relatively liked starlet, making tons of money, with a huge fan base and a boyfriend who actually seemed to really love you. And you threw all that away for a not even remotely cute or well-known director – whom you may very well have to work with again. So what drove you to cheat? What could have possibly made you that unhappy that you had to get with your married-with-two-kids director?

In all seriousness, we know you screwed up. Everyone does. But we all still love a redemption story, and if you can somehow make your way back into everyone’s good graces, we will be the first to cheer you on. But as for now… bring on the popcorn!